Why am I such in a hurry to be employed? I don't know but before, I know why, I'll use my career as the way to move on my depressing problems. But it's different now when companies are starting to call me.
I have a job interview for tomorrow at Makati. When I saw their email, I was ecstatic but then, as I practiced my "My name is blah blah blah", studied the requirements, responsibilities & the nature of the company, something startled me. In addition, my mother asked me if I'm ready to have a job. I realized, geez, why am I such in a hurry? To be honest, I need to calm down and relax. I'm not even employed yet but I feel like even though I'm eager to have a job, I'm probably not ready yet. I'm sure I'll miss these bum days when I finally have a job but we'll see.
The only point of this dilemma is that the reason why I'm going back and forth into thinking if I should pursue this job/interview is that I still don't know what I would like/love to do in life. I don't know. I don't excel in anything. Well, I excel in using the internet and socializing with people but I don't know any job that is close to that. I'm only average to everything that I know. That's my problem and I'm hoping that soon, I'll discover what I really love and what I'm really good at. *sigh* I wonder what am I going to be 1 year, 5 years from now. I just don't see the maturity in me and I can't force myself to be mature because that's just impossible. But even though this bothers me, I kind of like this because this is also what makes my life unpredictable and interesting but so far, what's predictable in my life is that, I won't move unless others help me. Wah I need to change this but whatever... I'll get through this. Wahh I need to grow up. Probably.. I don't know. Lulz
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